/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Once my dad came to my room, search around for a while then he took an egg out of his pocket smashed it on the ground and said,"son! that's your brain on drugs and left". Thats the day i found out my saved up money was gone and my dad is crack addict.

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My brother hates when I tell people about the time he lost his virginity to a girl with Downs Syndrome.

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My brother hates it when I tell people about the time he lost his virginity to a girl with Down's Syndrome.

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Was told to share here:

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As the sword cut through the beasts throat, the hero celebrated his victory, and others in the grocery store cheered!

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I was gonna fiber her breakfast in bed....

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I don't know why I was told never to take candy from a stranger.

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So I tucked my first Purdy at a glory hole today...

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I hesitantly hit the post button

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My heart skipped as I thought I saw my reflection looking at me and smiling, out of the corner of my eye

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Once my dad came to my room, search around for a while then he took an egg out of his pocket smashed it on the ground and said,"son! that's your brain on drugs and left". Thats the day i found out my saved up money was gone and my dad is crack addict.	1
My brother hates when I tell people about the time he lost his virginity to a girl with Downs Syndrome.	1
My brother hates it when I tell people about the time he lost his virginity to a girl with Down's Syndrome.	1
Was told to share here:	1
As the sword cut through the beasts throat, the hero celebrated his victory, and others in the grocery store cheered!	1
I was gonna fiber her breakfast in bed....	1
I don't know why I was told never to take candy from a stranger.	1
So I tucked my first Purdy at a glory hole today...	1
I hesitantly hit the post button	1
My heart skipped as I thought I saw my reflection looking at me and smiling, out of the corner of my eye	1